15 April 2015
Dear Ms. Maio,
Of the many poems I have written, I believe that my ekphrastic poem is the best. I think it represents and expresses the ideas I was trying to convey in a clearer and more poetic way than my others. I wrote from the point of view of a woman who was depicted in the painting (On the Balcony by Berthe Morisot) and I believe I captured an interesting and insightful perspective of hers. In the painting she looks at a young child and wishes for the innocence and emotion that the child has and is capable of. An example of her thoughts (written by me) is, “The wonder she sees, O how I wish/ It was mine, in my eyes…/ But no, the only wonder of mine is how/ A little girl can take more out of the world than I.†I think my word choice and line use truly captures the desire and regret of the woman which sets this poem apart from my others. Another reason why I believe this poem to be my best is because of the interesting use of enjambment. When I wrote this poem I experimented with different line breaks and that allowed me to find an interesting and poetic version that was able to exaggerate specific lines. One example is, “It was me who, before, so desperately grasped/ For the handles,/ So I could steer my way/ Towards the beaten path of maturity.†This enjambment made my poem more interesting to read and helped me exaggerate certain words and phrases. This made the poem better than my others, where I did not experiment with enjambment. Although this poem does not have many literary devices, I believe that my word choice and format made it my best poem.
Looking at the strengths of my ekphrastic poem, I can see opportunities to revise my other poems. My word choice and capturing of emotion made my ekphrastic poem my best, and I can use that in my sonnet to make it better. For example, in my sonnet I say, “I recall the sight of them after a long year:/ The smile on their face that brings a smile to my eyes.†This is simple and shows little emotion. Instead I could have said something like, “Seeing their smiles again, after such a long time/ It makes me forget about everything else,/ I am consumed by the only things that can do such a thing: happiness and love,†(with revisions for rhyme and meter). Another thing I could edit is my riddle poem. If the lines of this poem were enjambed it would add more interest and organization to the poem. For example I could break up, “To be the roof of the untainted world,/ Boastful of height, of experience,†into “To be the roof/ of the untainted world,/ Boastful/ Of height, of experience,†in order to exaggerate and separate the different points and draw attention to the important “clues†to solving the riddle.
Lastly, I believe that working with poetry has greatly affected me as a writer. Reading and writing these poems has taught me that every word has to be considered and carefully chosen in order to express your ideas in the way that best conveys your intended message. This unit has shown me the value of using literary devices and has helped me be more comfortable using them. I can now use them in all my writing (metaphors, similes, etc.), in an effective and poetic way. Being able to express my thoughts poetically is very important to all types of writing-It allows me to write more interesting and emotional pieces in the future. Overall, this poetry unit has taught me how to express my ideas in a powerful and poetic way and now I can use this knowledge to improve my writing to come.
Sincerely,
Abby Eisenklam