Below is my first Narrative Writing Piece from 7th Grade. I am proud of it because this was the first time I used a plot stucture in my writing and I think it worked well. I also was very descriptive while writing this.
Somewhere Over In New York
She had to get out, each word said was a jab in the heart to Tori. She couldn’t deal with it any longer, so she texted her best friend Vanessa as she ran through the tortuous rain. Her thumbs slipped on the wet screen of her IPhone 6S as the rain poured down.
Tori Dale used to be a kind, beautiful, caring, and smart person, but ever since “the thing” happened she was the complete opposite. It all started two weeks ago when Tori and her mom thought her dad was at work. Since they were alone, they decided to go to their favorite ice cream parlor in Las Vegas, “Luv-Its Ice Cream.” Tori got vanilla in a sugar cone with rainbow sprinkles. When her mom saw this she smiled, this was Tori’s “happy order”. After ice cream, they went to go sit in their family’s favorite booth, but when they got there something unexpected happened. Once they went to sit, Tori’s mind stopped working. The world started to spin. Everything she had was lost. Sitting in front of her was her dad. With someone. Someone Tori didn’t know and didn’t want to.
It turns out Tori’s dad was with Emily Parker, one of his students. Her dad had lots of cover ups like, “I was helping her study.” Or, “ I was giving help with extra credit”, but Tori hadn’t bought one thing. She wanted to believe him but she couldn’t. She wanted to think he wasn’t cheating on her mom, but she couldn’t. Not after what she had witnessed.
Ever since then Tori’s mom and dad were fighting non-stop. It came to the point where Tori had spent most of her days at Vanessa’s house, but today was the day Vanessa’s family took a week trip to New York City. Tori was saying how she would do anything just to get out of the house and go with Vanessa’s family to New York, but she unfortunately couldn’t skip school.
It was the day after Vanessa had left and Tori was miserable. Vanessa ran out of the house and into the pouring rain. She had just texted Vanessa and was trying to dry the screen of her phone, but the water drops just smeared and streaked across her phone making it even harder to concentrate on the task at hand which was to runaway.
The sky turned a shade of smokey gray that Tori had never seen seen before.
“Aw, snickerdoodles!” Tori mumbled. “Maybe I should’ve checked the weather before I left.” Tori checked the weather channel to find the worst tornado in the past ten years was heading her way! She ran home as fast as she could but she was too late. Right when she turned back on her street, Gale St. she saw the tornado heading her way. It was too late. Tori felt like she was flying. She felt like a piece of paper floating through the cool air of a beach, but then the happy floating and flying soon ended and turned into the scariest moment of Tori’s life. She was being thrown into things and slashed into mailboxes by the bully tornado and it wouldn’t stop. It wouldn’t take a quick water break or wait for round to it kept hitting Tori. Smashing her into the decay of Tori’s street. She only saw dust, sand, and big chunks of houses flying by. All of the sudden Tori caught sight of a puppy. He was black and gray colored. He was so little, he must have been only a few weeks old! Tori had always wanted a dog, this could be her chance! She reached for it and hugged it close to her chest, praying she could save the poor pups life.
It was pitch black. As Tori started to wake up she noticed sitting at her feet was the dog. “You know what,” Tori said to the young puppy, “I think I’ll call you Loyal.” Tori’s voice raised in excitement when she noticed that Loyal didn’t have a collar and was most likely a stray, which meant she could keep him!
“Loyal, I don’t think we are in LA anymore.” Tori exclaimed as she looked around the room noticing the scenery. She noticed she was lying on, what it looked like, a flimsy and thin catwalk. She looked down and was the most excited she had ever been. She stared at the sign that read “Lyceum Theatre”. Tori jumped up wanting to explore her favorite theatre. It had been her favorite ever since her mom and dad brought her when she was 8. They took her to see “The Wizard of Oz”. All of the sudden Tori had felt sick. Even thinking about good times with her mom and dad made her nauseous. Then the catwalk began to rock.Tori grabbed Loyal and braced herself. The next couple of seconds were a blur to Tori but she came back down to earth when she heard a scream.
She looked around and noticed she had fallen right in the middle of some type of dance rehearsal. There were little boys and girls everywhere, and two adults. One’s face looked like a tomato. She was dripping with sweat. She wore a black leotard, pink tights, and a messed up blue ballet skirt. She was screaming at the the other lady.
“I refuse to wear these ugly things while I perform!” She screamed.
“Mrs. Barter the children are watching, besides they are beautiful in my taste.” Said the other lady, very calmly. She had bright red hair, and wore black leggings with a teal shirt that complimented her hair very well. She was very beautiful, unlike Mrs. Barter who had a big nose, and something brown and hairy on her neck the size of a quarter.
“What is going on?” Tori asked, eavesdropping on their conversation.
“Mrs. Barter doesn’t want to wear her shoes in the recital, so Ms. Blinda is trying to take care of it.” Said a little girl.
“I don’t care about your taste! I don’t like them and if you don’t take them out of the hip hop routine then I’m leaving!” Mrs. Barter screamed into Ms. Blinda’s face again.
“Well, I think their beautiful shoes!” Tori exclaimed.
“Oh, well than you can have them because I quit!” Mrs. Barter stormed out of the room. All of the sudden a bus came out of nowhere and hit Mrs. Barter. Mrs. Blinda ran and grabbed her phone, her fingers slipping as she quickly scrambled her fingers across the screen dialing 9-1-1.
‘Boys, girls go to the auditorium with this girl. What’s your name dear?” Ms. Blinda asked.
“Ok. Everyone follow Tori!” Mrs. Blinda yelled.
All of the kids followed Tori from backstage to the auditorium. Once they got there smiles ran across their little faces. Mrs. Blinda came back in about twenty minutes.
“Mrs. Barter is being rushed to the E.R.” Ms. Blinda said, still very calmy not showing a tear of sweat. “Thank you so much Tori! Without you the children would be running around the streets like wild animals.”
“It’s fine.” Tori said beginning to frown.
“It’s all my fault. If it weren’t for me she would’ve been teaching all of you. I can’t believe I hurt such a nice and innocent woman.”
“Oh, trust me Tori. Mrs. Barter was no where near nice and innocent”
“Oh yes, and it’s not your fault she stormed out and got hit by a bus.” Mrs. Blinda said with a laugh.
“Oh, well that makes me feel much better. Is she hurt?” Tori asked, the frown fading from her face.
“No. Just a few broken bones that’s all.”
“Oh, that’s good. Do you think you could help me get somewhere?”
“Where would you like to go?”
“The Emerald Palace Hotel.” Tori replied.
“Oh! All you have to do is follow the Yellow Brick Sidewalk!”
“It’s that easy! Wow, I’ll be on my way now thank you everyone!” Tori said excitedly.
“Oh, no! It’s not that easy. There will be troubles along the way. Strangers.” Mrs. Blinda said. This was the most serious she had been all day.
“Ok. I will. Now I have to go before dark. Thank you for the help everyone!”
“One last thing Tori.” Mrs. Blinda said staring down. “Where are your shoes?”
Tori had been so caught up in all of the nonsense that had been happening she hadn’t even noticed that she lost her shoes in the tornado. She heard a bark and looked at Loyal. He was sitting at the shelf holding beautiful, brand new, white converse sneakers. They looked like heaven. The best part was the laces. They were bright red with sparkles.
“You can take them.” Mrs. Blinda said noticing how in love Tori was with the shoes.
“Really, I don’t think I should.” Tori said.
“Just take them. They look your size!”
She ran to Loyal, and practically ripped the shoes off of the shelf. Getting worked up from just holding the shoes. She slowly moved the shoes towards her feet and gently placed them inside she gasped. The fit perfectly. It was like her and the shoes were meant to be. The shoes even matched her outfit! She was wearing a white shirt with black leggings, a white and sky blue flannel, and two french braids one on either side of her head. As she finished tying the laces she said her goodbyes to the little dancers and lastly to Mrs. Blinda so grateful for their help.
As she left she heard Mrs. Blinda say, “Now little munchkins, shall we keep dancing?”
Tori and Loyal started to stroll down the Yellow Brick Sidewalk. She hummed a song, which Loyal seemed to like considering the fact her was dancing. Or at least was trying to. Tori and Loyal kept strolling and sightseeing. New York looked beautiful. All the buildings and malls, restaurants and cupcakeries. Tori was having a great time. Until, she saw an ice cream parlor. Tori stopped in her tracks. She has been trying to avoid ice cream parlors for two weeks and now that she had seen one she had a blasts of memories. Happy memories of her and her family laughing together, like this one time when her and her parents went to Disney they had such a great time. They were together and happy and happy and together and that’s why Tori loved this memory so much.The longer Tori thought about the more more ugly it got. The memory started to rot into her brain and turn evil.
Tori snapped out of the memory. She heard Loyal barking. When she looked in the same direction as him she started to feel sad. Hanging from the top of the flagpole was a boy. He was small with ratty blond hair and was beaten badly, scars and bruises covering his arms and legs, and his left eye was black. He was shouting for help. Tori was thinking he was the victim of bullying. She ran up to him and unattached him to the flagpole. As she picked him up he shrieked in pain.
“Thanks, I thought I would be here all night.” He said in a meek voice while wiping tears off his face.
“No problem, why were you up there?” Tori replied.
“These kids at my school were making fun of me because I got a bad grade on my test.”
“What did you get?” Tori asked curious to find out what the poor boy got.
“ A 90.” The boy replied, as tears filled his eyes once again today.
“What! That’s so good, if the think a 90 is bad they should see what a get on my tests.”
“Well, I got to a private school, and when you get less than a 95% you’re in trouble with the big guys.”
“Wow,” Tori said stunned, “That stinks, but there is no reason to cry about it.”
“Oh, if only I had a brain.” The boy mumbled to himself. “By the way, what’s your name?”
“I’m Tori, what’s your name?”
“I am Aiden Smith.” He said noticing Loyal he asked, “What’s his name?”
“Loyal.” Tori said with a smile. “Oh,” noticing the time, which was 9:30 p.m, “I better be going!”
“Where are you going?” Aiden asked.
“I am trying to find Emerald Palace Penthouse Hotel, my friend VAnessa is staying there.”
“Oh! I know where that is. Plus it’s right next to my school, maybe I could help you get there and then go get extra help at my school, or even retake the test!”
“Ok, but we have to stay safe, I hope I can trust you.” Tori said worried about the journey ahead.
As they walked along the Yellow Brick sidewalk Aiden talked about how he could retake the test and show all the “big bad bullies” that he does have a brain.
“What school do you go to?” Tori asked, she wondered after hearing all the things he’s been talking about.
“I go to a private school right next to The Emerald Palace Hotel called The West Boarding School.” Aiden said but as he said it he frowned.
“Do you like it there, it seems kinda depressing.”
“Well I used to,” He paused, “until the new principal started around April or May.”
“Oh, that stinks. What’s the new principal’s name?”
Tori stopped in her tracks. “Parker? Did I hear correctly?”
‘Yes, why?” Aiden asked. He would’ve been thinking about why that name meant something to her but he was to concentrated with what was coming there way. Almost too concentrated. He fell and stumbled down a dirt road. Tori ran after him but he was moving too quickly.he bumped right into a young man that was glued to a bench. As he hit the man’s legs he screeched in pain.
To Be Continued…